Your weakness, your strength: Learning to appreciate other's weaknesses
We are fearfully and wonderfully created by God. I wonder if you have ever asked "Wonderful? I hate the way I am. I can't stand myself, how do You stand me God?".
When God is dealing with your character, it is as if you feel so naked. So exposed and you don't really like it because you feel ugly.
Moses was a man who needed God's correction as well. When people talk about Moses, they will often say that Moses did not deal with his anger, that was why he couldn't inherit the promise land. But his anger could have helped him inherit the promised land if it was under God's control.
I have been thinking alot about emotions and passion lately. I believe that you need to have Holy Discontent to ignite the passion to do something for God.
Likewise, Moses had the discontent. He was unhappy with the way things were. In his heart he knew that slavery wasn't right. His people needed to be freed to go to the promised land. It was his anger, or angry nature, that made him say enough is enough.
But he wasn't ready! He needed God to process him further. He was made a humble shepherd boy.
I'm sure Moses felt really bad during the desert time. He must have felt really naked too. He killed someone! Oh what was I thinking??
We need to forget about the past, and move on. We need to recognise that our weakness is also our strength!
If Moses did not have the rage, how could he even have the passion to start to do something big for God? He needed that rage, respond to injustice, to bring his people out of slavery. But his strength was also his weakness. However, he shouldn't beat himself up and ask God to make him the person he is not made to be. Instead he should ask God to help him to lay himself down under His authority.
Without David being overly emotional, do you think we will have the collection of psalms that help us relate to God?
Without Paul's zeal, do you think doctrines could be firmly established?
Recently I have also shared with some of my teacher friends that they are made with a soft touch for a reason. There are times they might feel frustrated over their emotions, but imagine a teacher with iron fist!
Perhaps you have felt hurt before by your leader saying things in the most direct and insensitive way, just think that your leader's nature needed him/her to be that way! Appreciate other's weakness, because it's their strength as well. Anyways we are all work in progress.
Remember learn to embrace who you are. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, for a reason.
Try not to hold on too much or take pride too much in your weakness too, because they need to be under His control.
Emo
Don't be so emo lah!
The word "emo" seems to get quite a bit of negative connotation. So before continue reading I would like you to have an open mind first... Ready?
Ok. Here we go.
Recently I have been struggling with myself and my "emo" ness. I have never been an emo person. Emo is something you will not think of labeling me. My friends have known me always as a very stable person, analyser, have-it-all-together person, mentally-organised.
Not until lately. I have been quite a tap. T_T
Don't know if it is the drugs, or a dramatic journey, sometimes I look at myself and wonder do I know you? But I don't want to spend time in analysing why now. Because I have understood something, which I want to share with you now. It is far more valuable than the genesis of my emo.
For years, I have always wanted to be a missionary. I look up to Heidi Baker, Mother Theresa, George Muller. These are the people I would like to become one day.
The first time I heard Heidi Baker, I was amazed at this lady. My heart was burning with such desire to have what she had. Such zeal to serve and she is crazy, she is mad! I want to be madly in love to do what she does.
So she left, so did my passion. Not that I did not have the desire anymore. But the coal was left to cool.
Then Heidi came for the second time.. Before going for her meetings, I was telling myself, there is no use for me to listen to her. I will listen and still stay at this state.
True enough, I was inspired for a moment. And when she was gone, I found myself back into my little routines. Not that I despised the things I did. I am not saying that. I just find myself dying inside with my dreams shriveled up inside.
I wonder how many of you can identify with me? You ask God, Lord make me like Heidi, make me like Muller, send me out like Mother Theresa. But many years down the road, nothing much has changed.
I used to ask God again and again, Lord, you really gotta teach me how to become like Heidi. Some people try to tell me, it is ok, do what you are called to do. But I know there is a desire deep inside that screams, there is gotta be more than this. But you see your heart won't lie. If it is on fire, it will burn. I just did not have the fire like Heidi to do these crazy stuff for God.
So, you may ask why am I talking about Heidi and emo? What's the link?
I think I am having a glimpse of the answer for the quest I have been on. I finally see some light here.
I was reading a book "Holy Discontent" by Bill Hybels and he was talking about rage. He asked this question, "When is the last time you saw a physical beating?" Not like in hollywood scene. But real one. It really got me thinking. Hollywood has made abuse, murder, weapons look so normal, that we forget how terribly real and wrong they are. If there was news about suicide bombing, we are concerned about how "MANY" died. Victims are just numbers now. If there was news about murder, we will ask "HOW"? We forget the reality of pain involved.
Have we lost the ability to feel?
I finally understood the reason for my suffering. I needed to feel again.
When I was in the midst of my sickness, people were telling me, give thanks, praise Him. Can I be honest to tell you that there were times, when I couldn't do that? There were moments when I cried. There were moments when I was fuming mad! There were moments I feared. I wasn't the hero people said I was. But I was glad I was true to myself and my feelings. God was trying to show me something. To teach me how it was like to feel, to pain.
When is the last time you were FUMING MAD at something?
No, no. As Christians we should be patient. No, no. You are being controlled by flesh. Chill. Pray. Calm down.
May I suggest to you that unless you are able to feel MAD about a cause, you can never be mad enough to do something about it.
Now that is the link.
Heidi had to learn from the poor. God sat her down with the poor. I believe she experienced so much pain, that it became her driving force for her to say "enough is enough, I'm going to alleviate pain".
That is Holy Discontent.
Not feeling fury and mad at something for nothing. But for a cause.
Being mad at things because you know they can be better, they are not in God's order..
Being mad why are kids not in school. Being mad why are there prostitution around. Being mad why some are so poor they can't afford health care.
If you are incapable of being mad, something is wrong. Pray that God will make you mad. You need a sharpener for your senses.
Now if you have gone through a season of pain, learn to harvest the pain, for His glory.
I am beginning to understand, why I needed to learn what pain really is.
May God grant me increasing Holy Discontent.
Love is a dangerous highway
Love is a dangerous highway
You need to belt-up, that's the only way
See, you need to follow the traffic rules
To keep yourself and the passenger's ride reasonably smooth
Is there another way? the fearful asked
There surely is, but I'm stickin' to this path
For I know Love is only for the brave
And it is only by His grace
With excitement as a prize
I'll risk for a surprise
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As human beings, we naturally do not like hurts. We protect ourselves from a lot of things. We even protect our properties!
We buy screen protector for our i-phones. We use sunscreen to protect from sunlight. We use anti-bacterial hand rub to protect ourselves from germs. We shield ourselves from hurt, or we try very hard to.
What I have learnt is that a little hurt can be good. No pain no gain, people always say. If you are not brave enough, to risk for this thrilling ride called Love, then you will not see true love.
What is true love? When love is given at the most unlikely time, unlovely person.
TRUE?
What does God say about love? Patience! Uhuh, how do you practice patience. Long-sufferring. Uhuh, and how do you practice long suffering? Suffer longgggggggggggggg.
I see my sister trying to shield her daughter from harm when she was still a baby. Now she is getting more liberal with her. Allow her try to new things, explore new places. But she will really learn most, when she is exposed, not protected.
Likewise, we can't dream about lovey dovey relationship that will never see hurt. But I will still trade my comforts with the journey. I know it is worth it.
A glimpse of what God would have felt...
"What are you going to do today?", I asked him.
"Well I have to attend a prayer meeting, then at night I gotta attend to some work stuff, then I'll be meeting some friends for soccer." he replied.
My heart was happy with his packed schedule because I'm glad that he could be serving the Lord and spending some quality time with friends. But by the time he reaches home, won't he be feeling too tired? I had wanted to spend some time to talk, uhm but no no, not the left over time for sure! He will be so tired and I wouldn't get full attention, and he wouldn't have the energy to share anything with me. My heart was suddenly filled with slight disappointment. Why am I not in the schedule? Why am I seem to be at the last of the priority list? Or worse, taken off the list?
I understood one precious lesson that day. This relationship has been teaching me precious lessons about the Lord. A glimpse of what the Lord could have felt..
Have I been treating God the same way? Giving Him not my best time, but left over time. Lord I have this and that to do, yes at the end I'll see if I have some time for you. Well, I surely won't say that explicitly, but I have certainly done it many times. That has got to hurt Him badly!
Being in this relationship, there is one more thing I have learnt too. It is the importance of pursuing God. Have you ever thought of why God always ask us to seek Him? Why doesn't He just show Himself to us? Yes, at times He does that. But He would like to be sought after.
Every girl's desire is to be sought after, to feel that she is a treasured prize. Likewise it pleases God when we don't take Him for granted but seek Him. Doesn't it make you happy when you receive something that is totally out of obligation and surprising. You'd be so delighted, surprised, feel appreciated and say "oh you shouldn't have."
I'm talking not about responsibility. But doing something such as an act of service beyond requirements, and you do it because you want to, not need to.
I was pondering to myself, what is romance? No, romance is not a boy picks up a girl at her home and sending her back, that is basic requirement. No, romance is not carrying her shopping bags for her, that is again what a man should automatically do. Romance is something you do that expresses your strong sense of love. It is something extra you would like to do to please him/her. Likewise we could apply that to our relationship with God.
And romance is a biblical thing!
I used to not get it when I sing "romance me oh Lover of my soul, to the song of all songs..." now I'm beginning to understand it. Doing something extra for God out of our strong desire just to love and appreciate Him. Not doing QT because we need to, but deperately wanting to meet and chat with Him. Or suddenly wanna break out in love songs for God...
Romance God, seek God, chase Him! And it will bring a smile to His face.
And give Him your best time, not left overs!
